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Inadequate. That's what I am. I take you to a place to see poverty, to help poverty, and I choke up. I guess I expect you do the work because I sure can't find the words. I just stare. I just listen. I think, "Boy, I hope they make the most of this opportunity to touch lives because we may never get to do this again." But I don't make the most of it. I choke up, inadequate.

Inadequate. That's what I am. I watch you take in James's words and I hope you're getting something out of it. That's what we planned it for, after all. For edification. But I don't get much out of it. I think about other things. Like myself. Like my life with Kyle. What are we doing here? What are we gonna do when our church runs out of fumes? I choke up, inadequate.

Inadequate. That's what I am. I hear you sing, excited to be together, excited to be praising your Father. I think, "Boy, I hope they make the most of this time because this is when we felt the Holy Spirit come down last year." It sounds beautiful. I wish I could sing like this more often. But instead of praising God, instead of thanking Him for here and now, I just hope for more opportunities in the future. I choke up, inadequate.

Inadequate. That's what I am. Inadequate to make anything of our time together. Inadequate to praise God. Inadequate to share His Word, His Love. Inadequate to serve you. Inadequate.

I don't know why I'm telling you this. Maybe because I realize my need for accountability, and you're the people close to me, with whom I'd love to be vulnerable. Maybe because I want you to know that under whatever facade I may put on, I want you to know that I'm broken, hurting, in desperate need to know more of God. And inadequate. Inadequate to thank you for coming and blessing my life more than words can say.