"And Jonah stalked
to his shaded seat
and waited for God
to come around
to his way of thinking.
And God is still waiting for a host of Jonahs
in their comfortable houses
to come around
to his way of loving."
-Thomas Carlisle, from "You Jonah"
1/31/06
1/19/06
poetry
I don't know much about poetry. I've always been intimidated about posting my own, for fear someone who knows more about poetry than I do will read it and my secret will be out: I don't know the rules of poetry.
And then I changed my mind. (I do a lot of that.)
I decided that that's the freedom of poetry. Think of it as God-freedom, salvation-freedom, freedom from forms and formulas and checklists and periods and punctuation. Poetry lets you use the words that mean something, the words that expand your heart larger than it deserves to be expanded.
To accept poetry means you can say things like "bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh" (Genesis 2.23) even though others may say, "That doesn't mean anything." But oh, what it means! Poetry means everything; it means there's life beyond what you see and hear and smell. It means there is life, and it's to be had.
Poetry lets you feel deeply, hurt deeply, and love deeply. Poetry says, Yes, you can repeat that as many times as you want because "his mercy endureth forever" (Psalm 136). And it also says you can put words beside words they've never been beside, and the words will commune and interlock and bear offspring of truth. And then the truth will set you free.
And then I changed my mind. (I do a lot of that.)
I decided that that's the freedom of poetry. Think of it as God-freedom, salvation-freedom, freedom from forms and formulas and checklists and periods and punctuation. Poetry lets you use the words that mean something, the words that expand your heart larger than it deserves to be expanded.
To accept poetry means you can say things like "bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh" (Genesis 2.23) even though others may say, "That doesn't mean anything." But oh, what it means! Poetry means everything; it means there's life beyond what you see and hear and smell. It means there is life, and it's to be had.
Poetry lets you feel deeply, hurt deeply, and love deeply. Poetry says, Yes, you can repeat that as many times as you want because "his mercy endureth forever" (Psalm 136). And it also says you can put words beside words they've never been beside, and the words will commune and interlock and bear offspring of truth. And then the truth will set you free.
miracle
heal heal heal
touch
and wince
and cry cry
listen
for once
it’s the breaking moment
look
at her
she’s your friend
not your foe
she hurts
cries
longs
like you
maybe
you can help
each other
now
:: written 03.january.2006 ::
touch
and wince
and cry cry
listen
for once
it’s the breaking moment
look
at her
she’s your friend
not your foe
she hurts
cries
longs
like you
maybe
you can help
each other
now
:: written 03.january.2006 ::
war and Jesus
I’ve never known if it’s okay to hate war. I have a lot of patriotic Republicans in my life, and I like George W. Bush, so that makes for a tough combination if I hate war. But then, all those people surely hate war, too.
But I really hate war. I think it should never have to happen. I think if we really believe the Bible, we wouldn’t say that war is just something a nation has to do when our values are attacked. We’d do something more like Jesus did – love the enemies, and suffer if they torture us. There would be a lot of other things we could do without physically defending ourselves – evangelize, speak the truth about peace and love.
That’s the boldest message of all.
People probably think we – the good people – would be exterminated if we just took all the hits as they came. But I don’t think so. I don’t think God would let His witnesses be completely exterminated.
Or maybe if they were, one of the Jesus-hating enemies would find a Bible among the rubble and read about Jesus and about how he loves his enemies, and about how love is God, and how physical death isn’t the end for those who love God. Maybe then the enemy would look at the bloody, rotting body lying at his feet and see the peace all over the dead face, and he’d feel sorrow for the first time in his life. And then all the witnesses wouldn’t be exterminated anymore; there’d already be a new one.
But I really hate war. I think it should never have to happen. I think if we really believe the Bible, we wouldn’t say that war is just something a nation has to do when our values are attacked. We’d do something more like Jesus did – love the enemies, and suffer if they torture us. There would be a lot of other things we could do without physically defending ourselves – evangelize, speak the truth about peace and love.
That’s the boldest message of all.
People probably think we – the good people – would be exterminated if we just took all the hits as they came. But I don’t think so. I don’t think God would let His witnesses be completely exterminated.
Or maybe if they were, one of the Jesus-hating enemies would find a Bible among the rubble and read about Jesus and about how he loves his enemies, and about how love is God, and how physical death isn’t the end for those who love God. Maybe then the enemy would look at the bloody, rotting body lying at his feet and see the peace all over the dead face, and he’d feel sorrow for the first time in his life. And then all the witnesses wouldn’t be exterminated anymore; there’d already be a new one.
1/17/06
why I disagree
So Sunday we had a Bible study around the kitchen table: a mix of family, some so seldom seen. We talked about the Holy Spirit -- His character, His functions, His history. Someone -- I don't remember who -- threw out the comment that what was most important was that we as Christians know what we should be doing; studying God's character is such an immense task that we can never know everything about the Holy Spirit. So it went without saying that learning about Him shouldn't be our focus; doing our job should be.
I nodded; that sounded logical.
But wait. What exactly is our job? And if understanding God is too massive a task, is that saying that understanding and doing our job isn't?
I'm feeling sheepish for agreeing with such an idea. Putting my whole heart into understanding God is central to my relationship with him! To claim otherwise may be one of the most dangerous fallacies in Christian theology.
Let's say that in my marriage, I wanted to serve my husband according to biblical doctrine. I'm told to submit to my husband, and reverence/respect him. Okay -- time to do my duty. I start taking care of the home -- which I heard about in the Bible -- and I submit to the things he tells me to do. Check. Check. Check. But get to know him? Men are complicated -- way too complicated. And as a woman, I can never fully understand how my husband's mind works, so I might as well stop focusing on that and keep doing my job. Forget this relationship stuff. I'll just do what the Bible tells me to do.
It's ludicrous, isn't it? I can't even understand how to do my job as a wife unless I know my husband, unless I try to understand what makes him feel respected and what makes him tick. Relationships, learning about God's character: these things are not the fluffy stuff; they're the foundational stuff.
So, you say, what about "if you love me, you'll keep my commandments"?
I would answer: this does not say, "in order to love me, you'll keep my commandments." It says "if." First comes love; commandment-following is the fruit.
"And this is life eternal, that they might know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent." -Jesus Christ, John17.3, italics mine
I nodded; that sounded logical.
But wait. What exactly is our job? And if understanding God is too massive a task, is that saying that understanding and doing our job isn't?
I'm feeling sheepish for agreeing with such an idea. Putting my whole heart into understanding God is central to my relationship with him! To claim otherwise may be one of the most dangerous fallacies in Christian theology.
Let's say that in my marriage, I wanted to serve my husband according to biblical doctrine. I'm told to submit to my husband, and reverence/respect him. Okay -- time to do my duty. I start taking care of the home -- which I heard about in the Bible -- and I submit to the things he tells me to do. Check. Check. Check. But get to know him? Men are complicated -- way too complicated. And as a woman, I can never fully understand how my husband's mind works, so I might as well stop focusing on that and keep doing my job. Forget this relationship stuff. I'll just do what the Bible tells me to do.
It's ludicrous, isn't it? I can't even understand how to do my job as a wife unless I know my husband, unless I try to understand what makes him feel respected and what makes him tick. Relationships, learning about God's character: these things are not the fluffy stuff; they're the foundational stuff.
So, you say, what about "if you love me, you'll keep my commandments"?
I would answer: this does not say, "in order to love me, you'll keep my commandments." It says "if." First comes love; commandment-following is the fruit.
"And this is life eternal, that they might know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent." -Jesus Christ, John17.3, italics mine
1/10/06
january fifth
And then they stopped -- the empty words, the clattering of my brain. They reached to God and asked for power and meaning. And God said, "I will give in my time. I will make all things new."
God kept his promise to Abraham. The son was promised -- again and again -- and the promise was kept to the very letter. So God will give the words He has for me. He will not hold them back to cause me pain. He will give and give and give again. As He now gives.
God kept his promise to Abraham. The son was promised -- again and again -- and the promise was kept to the very letter. So God will give the words He has for me. He will not hold them back to cause me pain. He will give and give and give again. As He now gives.
* * *
Drink from me--
the water
Drink from me.
Love, live, laugh,
grow.
slow.
There will be words
love
actions
Wait
and drink.
* * *
My nose is sore, my eyes dry from all the crying. But I am at peace. The pain, suffering, crying -- you know it would be yours, will be yours, if you would have the Saviour. The cross -- it is an instrument of torture. Torture me, then, and I will sing Your praise.
The itchy nose reminds me of the fight. It reminds me that the fight is not done; it is only begun. It reminds me of the soft arms -- strong -- the lips upon my head, saying, "My daughter, my bride." Most precious roles ever had. I would not be other than a daughter and a bride.
best books of 2005
Whoa. I've got practically all nonfiction on my best book reads for last year. Pride and Prejudice is on my list, but I'm not sure it really counts, beings that I had read it in high school. I just added it to balance things out a bit. I read some other fiction during the year, too, but I guess the books weren't as powerful for my life, so they didn't warrant this esteemed blog posting.
Hard to Believe by John MacArthur: "If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me" (Luke 9.23). This isn't a how-to manual, although there are plenty of points I could've added to my to-do list. MacArthur's thesis claims that Christianity isn't some softsoap belief system whose tenets one can pick and choose as he pleases. Rather, true life in Christ compels its followers to a lifestyle of daily surrender and worship.
Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller: Wowee. I loved this book. Miller is witty and talented in his essays on what he calls "Christian spirituality." He blazes over some of the hang-ups of the modern evangelical church, pointing readers' minds toward the love that should be central to every beleiver's life. He's honest and, in his own raw way, charming.
God's Smuggler by Brother Andrew: Okay, so you're getting the idea that mainly Christian nonfiction has overtaken my "best books" list this year. I did read other genres; this time around, they just didn't measure up. But back to God's Smuggler. This book challenged me in ways I didn't expect. Brother Andrew tells account after account of how the mighty hand of God worked miracles as he brought hope to believers behind the Iron Curtain. As a car ran hundreds of thousands of miles when it should have been in the landfill, and Bibles became invisible to border patrolmen, Brother Andrew's message became crystal clear: God is really, really big. There is no excuse for shaky faith.
Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen: So after groaning my way through this book in high school, I decided to pick it up again. After all, too many women had said they loved it; it was their favorite book. While I can't claim all that, I will it say it was a pleasurable read. In high school, I only saw ball after boring ball; every once in a while, someone would get married. Yawn.
This time around, I was patient enough to pick up on some of Austen's wit and satire. Go, Elizabeth! Way to be a normal woman, marrying for something other than money or in desperation. I'm excited to see the movie.
Traveling Mercies by Anne Lamott: I got interested in Lamott from what I read on the back of Blue Like Jazz -- that Miller was like Anne Lamott on testosterone. My sister was right about what she told me when she lent me this book: Miller is way toned down compared to Lamott. Lamott sometimes made me want to hide the book cover while I was reading in public. But she's loving and honest and passionate. She takes a similar approach to Miller: here are some blurbs of my life and things I learned. In spite of the temptation to think I was an infinitely better Christian than she, I will admit -- Lamott did teach me a thing or two.
Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis: A must-read. Or a must-listen -- however you can get to it first. I listened to this one (and for those of you who think that's cheating, it was unabridged). Starting at the simplest stage possible, Lewis argues why there is a God, and he later delves into a rational but powerful case for Christianity in particular. A good exercise for the brain and the soul.
Hard to Believe by John MacArthur: "If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me" (Luke 9.23). This isn't a how-to manual, although there are plenty of points I could've added to my to-do list. MacArthur's thesis claims that Christianity isn't some softsoap belief system whose tenets one can pick and choose as he pleases. Rather, true life in Christ compels its followers to a lifestyle of daily surrender and worship.
Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller: Wowee. I loved this book. Miller is witty and talented in his essays on what he calls "Christian spirituality." He blazes over some of the hang-ups of the modern evangelical church, pointing readers' minds toward the love that should be central to every beleiver's life. He's honest and, in his own raw way, charming.
God's Smuggler by Brother Andrew: Okay, so you're getting the idea that mainly Christian nonfiction has overtaken my "best books" list this year. I did read other genres; this time around, they just didn't measure up. But back to God's Smuggler. This book challenged me in ways I didn't expect. Brother Andrew tells account after account of how the mighty hand of God worked miracles as he brought hope to believers behind the Iron Curtain. As a car ran hundreds of thousands of miles when it should have been in the landfill, and Bibles became invisible to border patrolmen, Brother Andrew's message became crystal clear: God is really, really big. There is no excuse for shaky faith.
Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen: So after groaning my way through this book in high school, I decided to pick it up again. After all, too many women had said they loved it; it was their favorite book. While I can't claim all that, I will it say it was a pleasurable read. In high school, I only saw ball after boring ball; every once in a while, someone would get married. Yawn.
This time around, I was patient enough to pick up on some of Austen's wit and satire. Go, Elizabeth! Way to be a normal woman, marrying for something other than money or in desperation. I'm excited to see the movie.
Traveling Mercies by Anne Lamott: I got interested in Lamott from what I read on the back of Blue Like Jazz -- that Miller was like Anne Lamott on testosterone. My sister was right about what she told me when she lent me this book: Miller is way toned down compared to Lamott. Lamott sometimes made me want to hide the book cover while I was reading in public. But she's loving and honest and passionate. She takes a similar approach to Miller: here are some blurbs of my life and things I learned. In spite of the temptation to think I was an infinitely better Christian than she, I will admit -- Lamott did teach me a thing or two.
Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis: A must-read. Or a must-listen -- however you can get to it first. I listened to this one (and for those of you who think that's cheating, it was unabridged). Starting at the simplest stage possible, Lewis argues why there is a God, and he later delves into a rational but powerful case for Christianity in particular. A good exercise for the brain and the soul.
romans 14.8
And now I feel the freedom.
It washes down like gentle rain
that will mingle with tears and joy.
It will not despise the dry season,
for dryness deserves its respect,
for dryness and Sun make things grow.
But now I feel the freedom.
And no one would tell me to stop this
to do my duty.
For this is duty -- in freedom.
And freedom waits, loves, seeks,
and joys in the Giver of freedom-
and not only in the freedom itself.
It washes down like gentle rain
that will mingle with tears and joy.
It will not despise the dry season,
for dryness deserves its respect,
for dryness and Sun make things grow.
But now I feel the freedom.
And no one would tell me to stop this
to do my duty.
For this is duty -- in freedom.
And freedom waits, loves, seeks,
and joys in the Giver of freedom-
and not only in the freedom itself.
1/3/06
embrace
Together – you women are all alone. You have no friend, none that really cares, none that loves you as much as you love. Do you love? You scorn them that don’t love. Can you love and scorn at the same time?
Together – you women are alone. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. It isn’t supposed to be this way. Touch the hands that are reaching out. Touch with your cold fingertips as you stand in a circle – together. As you are reaching, with eyes closed, you will feel the fingers that are reaching out, belonging to the woman – the women – with eyes closed.
And then open your eyes. See beauty. Start to see love. First, and always.
Together – you women are alone. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. It isn’t supposed to be this way. Touch the hands that are reaching out. Touch with your cold fingertips as you stand in a circle – together. As you are reaching, with eyes closed, you will feel the fingers that are reaching out, belonging to the woman – the women – with eyes closed.
And then open your eyes. See beauty. Start to see love. First, and always.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)