the one-woman circus

I am a mom;
I am a one-woman circus--
a jungle gym,
comedian,
snack bar
all-in-one.
I can do
the juggling,
the balancing,
acrobatics,
and dancing.
I'm a
trust-builder,
smile-maker,
noisemaker
supper-baker.
I can stand up,
sit down,
lifting weights
with one arm.
I handle the manure,
the cries,
and the razor sharp claws.

I am a one-woman circus.

How's the pay?
Not too great.

But the applause--
smiles, first moments,
looks of awe
and adoration--
is deafening.

prayer challenge update

I think I was about to be swallowed up in failure, but then one of my new blogreaders asked me, "How are you doing with your April challenge of prayer?" and "What are you doing to develop this discipline?" Nothing like a good dose of accountability to kick me in the butt and onto my knees again.

I've been trying to give God a chunk of my evenings because something about the early mornings is just too intimidating after a patchy night of sleep. Speaking of patchy: my evening prayer times are still patchy, but I'm hoping the prayerful patches will keep getting bigger and bigger until they cover up the blank, prayerless evenings. I'm making a mental note to pray for that to happen.

I decided to learn about what the Bible has to say about prayer while I'm trying my hand at it. I started in Habakkuk 3, which is primarily a prayer. It wasn't the prayer that inspired me, though. It was the last few verses -- Habakkuk's profession of faith in God -- which put me in the right spirit for prayer:

"Although the fig tree shall not blossom, neither shall fruit be in the vines; the labour of the olive shall fail, and the fields shall yield no meat; the flock shall be cut off from the fold, and there shall be no herd in the stalls: yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will joy in the God of my salvation" (Habakkuk 3. 17,18).

In spite of the worst of circumstances, God is worthy of my praise and my attention... and my prayer times.

april challenge: prayer

I couldn't think of any other way to start. Without crying out to God, I don't know how to start this year of practicing spiritual disciplines. (See previous post if you don't know what I'm talking about.)

I chose the discipline of prayer because it's the only way I know to improve communication with God. It's the best way I know of to fully offer myself to God, to open my heart to what He has for me.

If the first month of this plan goes well, I hope to have developed a regular daily prayer time as well as become more instant (spontaneous) in prayer. I hope to become more familiar with what the Bible says about prayer and more earnest when I pray. And I hope God will teach me much more about prayer than I could have ever imagined.

(Again, I invite you to join me as I develop this spiritual discipline. I"d love to know if you're journeying with me, and if you're adopting my spiritual discipline choices or coming up with your own.)

journey to intimacy

Maybe it was Easter, maybe it was talking about the future and where we want to "end up"... but this weekend compelled me to know the Lord more deeply.

Sometimes I try to blame this stale spiritual valley on post-partum life changes, but I know that's no excuse for me to be distant from God.

It seems that there have been too many decisions lately that I try to pray about, but then I run out of time (or so I think). So, I make the best decision possible, crossing my fingers that that's what God would have had me do. Wow. What a testimony. Not.

My life needs revival. I need to get to know my Lord again. And I invite you to join me. From Easter 2007 until Easter 2008, I plan to implement one new spiritual discipline at a time, which may include growth areas such as:

Hospitality
Global outreach
Community outreach
Giving
Prayer
Bible study
Evangelism
Friendship
Exercising talents
Enjoying and honoring God’s creation
Solitude
Prioritizing/managing time
Scripture memorization
Controlling the tongue
Dedication to home, husband, and family
Denying self

And now for the plan. Too many times, I've implemented yearly plans (Write 1500 words every single day!) and petered out within a few weeks (or days?), feeling like a failure. My husband had some indispensable wisdom he borrowed from software project planning -- stuff he tries to implement at work.

He said a sure-fire way to miss a long-term goal is to have only a long-term plan. As you miss each consecutive deadline, you've dug yourself in so deep a hole you'll never catch up. Kyle recommends setting small, three-week milestones, taking time to review after each one.

I'm going to go for month-long milestones instead, just because it's easier that way. I won't decide on each month's spiritual decision until I'm almost ready to implement it. Only God knows what journey this year will take me through, so there's no need to pretend I know.

In spite of having small short-term goals, having one long-term goal is invaluable. I haven't had enough time to come up with a formal description of my long-term goal, but roughly, here it is:

To grow in intimacy with God; to know Him more deeply, to hear Him more clearly, to serve Him more passionately, to believe Him more actively, to love Him more radically.