God said, "Pop quiz."
And I said, "Okay."
"You don't have to do it, you know. The opponent will never know the difference."
I know, but I decided to accept the training anyway. I was compelled.
She just doesn't understand the game like you do.
Really, is that it? She just doesn't understand the game, because she hasn't seen it played except by one team? She's seen that team's techniques, as it dodges, and dodges, and dodges.
"Play offense!" I wanted to scream. But I didn't. Instead, I thanked her for showing me her techniques.
I tried to play fairly, tried to remember the rules, even when my opponent committed technical errors.
She called it sad.
And carnal.
I think she was referring to me.
She said she was just playing the game, but each move she made seemed to be directed right at me. I confronted them all, but I didn't kick them right back in her face. I couldn't do that to her, you know.
Even though she couldn't see past my facemask, I pray she still saw me.
And I pray she still saw Christ.
It wasn't until afterwards that I discovered my sweaty armpits.
Dear Lord, I think I passed.
7/6/05
7/5/05
mrs. brown
Mrs. Brown came in alone with her jeweled barrette and frizzy hair, smiles all around. It was a wonderful day, and we were beautiful people. She came late to the counter where I taught, but who could deny such a woman?
I had slapped the book together in half an hour, minus interruptions; it was no masterpiece, let me tell you. But Mrs. Brown thought it beautiful, perfect.
I laughed about the book, the thought it lacked.
"This is so neat," she said.
With each page, I explained that she had creative license.
"I want it just like yours," she said.
I showed her how.
"What's your name?" she asked.
I motioned to my name tag, and told her.
Mrs. Brown wants to take some of my classes. She wants to spend more time here.
I joked that Mrs. Brown is good for my self esteem. I joked more than once.
And then I hear Mrs. Brown signed up to come here three weeks in a row to begin with. That first night, tears replaced smiles.
"My husband hit me."
I wonder why she could tell us that.
"This is only about the fourth time since we've been married," she said.
Only. Yeah, okay.
Only.
Mrs. Brown keeps signing up to come here on the weekends. She wants to spend more time here.
I had slapped the book together in half an hour, minus interruptions; it was no masterpiece, let me tell you. But Mrs. Brown thought it beautiful, perfect.
I laughed about the book, the thought it lacked.
"This is so neat," she said.
With each page, I explained that she had creative license.
"I want it just like yours," she said.
I showed her how.
"What's your name?" she asked.
I motioned to my name tag, and told her.
Mrs. Brown wants to take some of my classes. She wants to spend more time here.
I joked that Mrs. Brown is good for my self esteem. I joked more than once.
And then I hear Mrs. Brown signed up to come here three weeks in a row to begin with. That first night, tears replaced smiles.
"My husband hit me."
I wonder why she could tell us that.
"This is only about the fourth time since we've been married," she said.
Only. Yeah, okay.
Only.
Mrs. Brown keeps signing up to come here on the weekends. She wants to spend more time here.
6/20/05
griever
What do I say from a distance? How can I really help the pain?
I dreamed last night that I put my arms around you and held you tight for a long time. Yes, she was my cousin, but she was your daughter. You're the one who hears the echoes of her laughter and feels that great, big void where she used to stand. You'll make it through the motions; I know you will. But when everything's over, she'll still be gone. And what can I say to that?
I'm working on "I love you" because anything else would probably be a mere Bandaid: it won't stop the pain. And after that's over, I want you to know that I'll pray, pray that God will become bigger every day until the joy outweighs the pain. Somehow, He will.
I dreamed last night that I put my arms around you and held you tight for a long time. Yes, she was my cousin, but she was your daughter. You're the one who hears the echoes of her laughter and feels that great, big void where she used to stand. You'll make it through the motions; I know you will. But when everything's over, she'll still be gone. And what can I say to that?
I'm working on "I love you" because anything else would probably be a mere Bandaid: it won't stop the pain. And after that's over, I want you to know that I'll pray, pray that God will become bigger every day until the joy outweighs the pain. Somehow, He will.
one hundred percent
You try hard to make it look like one hundred, but we all know it's not. I wonder if you think you're fooling us into believing you're complete. I don't know if it's zero or ninety. But really, without one hundred, it may as well be zero.
"Thinking" doesn't cut it, girl.
You say I'm being harsh?
Maybe.
But I have to be.
I wish I could be harsh more often.
What do you think, hear, feel? What do you wish? What do you dream?
And why won't you let us in?
Forget about us. I'm praying for one hundred.
"Thinking" doesn't cut it, girl.
You say I'm being harsh?
Maybe.
But I have to be.
I wish I could be harsh more often.
What do you think, hear, feel? What do you wish? What do you dream?
And why won't you let us in?
Forget about us. I'm praying for one hundred.
6/8/05
born
"I must be obedient or I'll miss them all. There are too many coming to not be writing." -08.june.2005
I believe the stories come from God. I believe the dreams did too. They crept up on me and surprised me with their drama, their wit, their truth. I had very little -- okay, nothing -- to do with it. And even now... I was compelled. Compelled, I tell you.
Shoot, I'm running out of time if I don't start today. What'll happen to the stories if I don' t get them down, ink on paper? They'll die, that's what. They'll die.
Boom -- NOW! -- there it was. And I HAD to write before I forgot. I've forgotten songs, and dreams, and tasks. But I don't have to. I choose to.
I believe.
----
Dear Reader (yes, I really am talking to YOU), I'm just curious -- what does all this mean to you? I posted it because I thought it might be interesting to you. So, you can take it or leave it... but I'd be interested to know which one.
I believe the stories come from God. I believe the dreams did too. They crept up on me and surprised me with their drama, their wit, their truth. I had very little -- okay, nothing -- to do with it. And even now... I was compelled. Compelled, I tell you.
Shoot, I'm running out of time if I don't start today. What'll happen to the stories if I don' t get them down, ink on paper? They'll die, that's what. They'll die.
Boom -- NOW! -- there it was. And I HAD to write before I forgot. I've forgotten songs, and dreams, and tasks. But I don't have to. I choose to.
I believe.
----
Dear Reader (yes, I really am talking to YOU), I'm just curious -- what does all this mean to you? I posted it because I thought it might be interesting to you. So, you can take it or leave it... but I'd be interested to know which one.
5/17/05
apostrophe's
Take a long look at the title of this blog posting, and imprint this on your brain: THE TITLE IS GRAMMATICLY INCORRECT. Got it? I suggest reading this posting over and over again until the title grates on your nerves as badly as it does mine.
This is a lesson on apostrophes. If you're tempted not to read it, it may be that you're the very person who needs to! I've heard many people complain that they're bad grammarians because the English language has so many exceptions; there are no hard and fast rules. If you're that type of person, rest easy: you don't have to learn (m)any exceptions when using the apostrophe.
Rule number 1: Never, never, never use an apostrophe to pluralize a word. People most often misuse the apostrophe by sticking it right in front of the "s" that makes one thing more than one thing. WRONG! You cannot say "I have two cat's." Never. That is always, always wrong.
Now, some people tend to get confused when they start using last names. Ask yourself: What is the thing I'm tempted to apostrophize (yes, I made that word up) possessing? Then ask yourself if the word you're apostrophizing could be divided into two words (that is, is it a contraction?). If the word (or name) you're using is not possessing anything and cannot be divided, DON'T use the apostrophe. Trust me on this one. The following use of punctuation is correct:
The Smiths are coming.
Last names can spark confusion because of the commonly used phrase: "We're going to the Browns'." An apostrophe is appropriate here because there is an implied word: house. That is, "We're going to the Browns' [house]."
Now, some people (even those who write grammar books) feel that when one uses abbreviations or numbers, it's okay to add apostrophes to pluralize those words. While a grammar teacher may not count off for calling compact discs CD's rather than CDs, I'd like to challenge you not to do it anyway. It's more correct to stick with this rule of thumb: never, never, never use an apostrophe to pluralize a word! When you apply the rule to EVERYTHING, including TAs, the 1950s, and SUVs, apostrophes make a LOT more sense!
Rule number 2: You may only use an apostrophe in possessive words or contractions. Now that I've thoroughly bashed your confidence in using apostrophes at all, there are places you may (and must!) use apostrophes (unless, of course, you've decided to always write sentences like, "That ball belongs to Jennie" rather than "That is Jennie's ball"). First, you may use an apostrophe when implying possession of some sort. For instance:
Chuck's daughter owns a ukulele.
The daughter belongs to Chuck. Coincidentally, the ukulele belongs to the daughter, so we could also say:
The ukulele is Chuck's daughter's.
That sentence may be awkward to say, but it's correct. The possessed object (the ukulele, in this instance) doesn't have to be preceded by its possessor. (If you noticed any exceptions to my rules in this paragraph, by chance, we'll address those problems at the end of the lesson.)
There are cases when you must add an apostrophe to an already pluralized word. For example:
The girls' dressing room rang with laughter.
The rule here is easy: if the pluralized word already ends in "s," there is no need to add another "s" after the apostrophe. If the pluralized word does not end in "s" (children, for example), go ahead and add the apostrophe and the "s" (the children's game).
Going back to singular words, there are cases when a singular word ending in "s" possesses an object. In these situations, it is considered grammatically correct to either add the extra "s" or leave it off. It's your choice. Take these sentences for instance:
Jesus's disciples followed Him.
or
Jesus' disciples followed Him.
Both examples are correct. I personally prefer the former version because it looks the same as all the other singular possessive words in my writing: they all end in 's. But I digress.
There is one -- and only one -- more reason to use an apostrophe, and that is in contractions. You remember contractions, right? Your elementary school teachers probably drilled them into your little brain before you were steady on a bicycle. Contractions are simple. They are apostrophized words that have one or more letters missing because they have joined two words together. And here's the rule of thumb to remember: The apostrophe stands for the missing letter(s). Examples are:
can't
don't
haven't
we're
you're
y'all
The first four words on that list make a lot of sense. You're and y'all can be a little tricky, but they can be easily mastered if you carefully follow the rules I've laid out.
When using your or you're, always ask yourself (I still do every time!) if you could substitute the words you are for the word you've chosen. If you can't, then your is your word. Just remember: your is possessive, you're is a contraction. Use the same rules with their and they're.
And now we've gotten to one of my biggest pet peeves: the misspelling of the word y'all. I have even seen public signs misspell this word to read ya'll. That only makes sense if the original words before dropping a letter and combining them were ya and all. And since that is laborious to say in any case, we can only conclude that the original words before the contraction's creation were you and all. The dropped letters are ou, so the apostrophe clearly must follow the y. Got it?
Here is the coolest part about this whole topic. Since an apostrophe can stand for missing letters, you can easily make up words that are grammatically correct. There is nothing wrong with making up apostrophized words; we do it in spoken English all the time. The most important thing is that your reader understands what they mean. The reason these aren't in the dictionary is because there are just too many possibilities to list! Perfectly legitimate words include:
his're
y'all're
wouldn't've
One word I use often is it's, as in "It's gone too far." While it's commonly stands for it is, it can also stand for it has. Readers easily figure that out from the context.
Now , we'll move into the two exceptions (that come to mind right now):
First, contractions can be tricky because of certain words like ain't. English teachers hate this word, and I presume that's because it doesn't follow any of the hard and fast rules I've listed here. (Ai not cannot replace ain't.) Quite frankly, they can't explain the word to students, so they just say it shouldn't be used (by calling it slang). I would only take their side if those same teachers also outlawed the word won't. Now, explain that word to me! To be perfectly correct, willn't seems to make a whole lot more sense! Here's what I think: If you outlaw the word ain't, you must also outlaw the word won't. Neither or both. English teachers, take your pick.
And number two, pronouns can occasionally give you a bit of a problem. In a previous paragraph, I hinted that I had just disobeyed my rules by using one of those "exception" words. The words "it's" and "its" should be used thus: "It's broken" and "Here are its pieces." Like I said, it's a pronoun thing. Sometime in the history of the English language, someone decided pronouns didn't need apostrophes, so he invented words like theirs and hers and yours. Its is the trickiest because it always precedes the thing it possesses, unlike other pronouns. Theirs, hers, and yours only come at the end of a sentence or phrase, and they have special, different words (their, her, and your) for the times when they need to come right before the thing they're possessing. There's a name for those cases, but you don't need to know it. It's quite likely that through speaking the English language, you have no trouble remembering when to use theirs and when to use their. It comes naturally. It's only in using the word its (and whose/who's) that you tend to forget, unlike the man who invented the word, that there's no apostrophe.
I know it's probably been a long time since you've been in English class, and a longer time since you've done a grammar worksheet, so here's an exercise to hone your recently learned skills. Fix all the problems in the following passage and leave your corrected version in my comments box if you'd like, unless you'd like to avoid any criticism.
"I do," I told him.
"But your writing this blog posting to a wide audience. Million's could read this. Don't you think you're wasting people's time?"
"No," I retorted. "Think about the average blogs' contents. Are discussions about PEZ dispensers' adventures any more worth ones time than lessons in grammar?"
"Well... no." Eddie scratched his head. "But come on, we're not all Hubers'. Or Beyer's. Ya'll're crazy. Its high time has come."
"Who's high time? What's high time?"
"Its time for my Super-Powered Blog. It'll leave all of you womens' blogs in the dust." Eddie sneered.
"Oh, really?" I said laughingly. "Well, maybe you'll come around to my way of thinking after you've been rejected from job interviews because you're resume was filled with grammatical error's."
"Fat chant's."
"Chant's? Don't you mean chance?"
"Whatever," Eddie huffed. "Those things're supposed to come up on the spell check."
This is a lesson on apostrophes. If you're tempted not to read it, it may be that you're the very person who needs to! I've heard many people complain that they're bad grammarians because the English language has so many exceptions; there are no hard and fast rules. If you're that type of person, rest easy: you don't have to learn (m)any exceptions when using the apostrophe.
Rule number 1: Never, never, never use an apostrophe to pluralize a word. People most often misuse the apostrophe by sticking it right in front of the "s" that makes one thing more than one thing. WRONG! You cannot say "I have two cat's." Never. That is always, always wrong.
Now, some people tend to get confused when they start using last names. Ask yourself: What is the thing I'm tempted to apostrophize (yes, I made that word up) possessing? Then ask yourself if the word you're apostrophizing could be divided into two words (that is, is it a contraction?). If the word (or name) you're using is not possessing anything and cannot be divided, DON'T use the apostrophe. Trust me on this one. The following use of punctuation is correct:
The Smiths are coming.
Last names can spark confusion because of the commonly used phrase: "We're going to the Browns'." An apostrophe is appropriate here because there is an implied word: house. That is, "We're going to the Browns' [house]."
Now, some people (even those who write grammar books) feel that when one uses abbreviations or numbers, it's okay to add apostrophes to pluralize those words. While a grammar teacher may not count off for calling compact discs CD's rather than CDs, I'd like to challenge you not to do it anyway. It's more correct to stick with this rule of thumb: never, never, never use an apostrophe to pluralize a word! When you apply the rule to EVERYTHING, including TAs, the 1950s, and SUVs, apostrophes make a LOT more sense!
Rule number 2: You may only use an apostrophe in possessive words or contractions. Now that I've thoroughly bashed your confidence in using apostrophes at all, there are places you may (and must!) use apostrophes (unless, of course, you've decided to always write sentences like, "That ball belongs to Jennie" rather than "That is Jennie's ball"). First, you may use an apostrophe when implying possession of some sort. For instance:
Chuck's daughter owns a ukulele.
The daughter belongs to Chuck. Coincidentally, the ukulele belongs to the daughter, so we could also say:
The ukulele is Chuck's daughter's.
That sentence may be awkward to say, but it's correct. The possessed object (the ukulele, in this instance) doesn't have to be preceded by its possessor. (If you noticed any exceptions to my rules in this paragraph, by chance, we'll address those problems at the end of the lesson.)
There are cases when you must add an apostrophe to an already pluralized word. For example:
The girls' dressing room rang with laughter.
The rule here is easy: if the pluralized word already ends in "s," there is no need to add another "s" after the apostrophe. If the pluralized word does not end in "s" (children, for example), go ahead and add the apostrophe and the "s" (the children's game).
Going back to singular words, there are cases when a singular word ending in "s" possesses an object. In these situations, it is considered grammatically correct to either add the extra "s" or leave it off. It's your choice. Take these sentences for instance:
Jesus's disciples followed Him.
or
Jesus' disciples followed Him.
Both examples are correct. I personally prefer the former version because it looks the same as all the other singular possessive words in my writing: they all end in 's. But I digress.
There is one -- and only one -- more reason to use an apostrophe, and that is in contractions. You remember contractions, right? Your elementary school teachers probably drilled them into your little brain before you were steady on a bicycle. Contractions are simple. They are apostrophized words that have one or more letters missing because they have joined two words together. And here's the rule of thumb to remember: The apostrophe stands for the missing letter(s). Examples are:
can't
don't
haven't
we're
you're
y'all
The first four words on that list make a lot of sense. You're and y'all can be a little tricky, but they can be easily mastered if you carefully follow the rules I've laid out.
When using your or you're, always ask yourself (I still do every time!) if you could substitute the words you are for the word you've chosen. If you can't, then your is your word. Just remember: your is possessive, you're is a contraction. Use the same rules with their and they're.
And now we've gotten to one of my biggest pet peeves: the misspelling of the word y'all. I have even seen public signs misspell this word to read ya'll. That only makes sense if the original words before dropping a letter and combining them were ya and all. And since that is laborious to say in any case, we can only conclude that the original words before the contraction's creation were you and all. The dropped letters are ou, so the apostrophe clearly must follow the y. Got it?
Here is the coolest part about this whole topic. Since an apostrophe can stand for missing letters, you can easily make up words that are grammatically correct. There is nothing wrong with making up apostrophized words; we do it in spoken English all the time. The most important thing is that your reader understands what they mean. The reason these aren't in the dictionary is because there are just too many possibilities to list! Perfectly legitimate words include:
his're
y'all're
wouldn't've
One word I use often is it's, as in "It's gone too far." While it's commonly stands for it is, it can also stand for it has. Readers easily figure that out from the context.
Now , we'll move into the two exceptions (that come to mind right now):
First, contractions can be tricky because of certain words like ain't. English teachers hate this word, and I presume that's because it doesn't follow any of the hard and fast rules I've listed here. (Ai not cannot replace ain't.) Quite frankly, they can't explain the word to students, so they just say it shouldn't be used (by calling it slang). I would only take their side if those same teachers also outlawed the word won't. Now, explain that word to me! To be perfectly correct, willn't seems to make a whole lot more sense! Here's what I think: If you outlaw the word ain't, you must also outlaw the word won't. Neither or both. English teachers, take your pick.
And number two, pronouns can occasionally give you a bit of a problem. In a previous paragraph, I hinted that I had just disobeyed my rules by using one of those "exception" words. The words "it's" and "its" should be used thus: "It's broken" and "Here are its pieces." Like I said, it's a pronoun thing. Sometime in the history of the English language, someone decided pronouns didn't need apostrophes, so he invented words like theirs and hers and yours. Its is the trickiest because it always precedes the thing it possesses, unlike other pronouns. Theirs, hers, and yours only come at the end of a sentence or phrase, and they have special, different words (their, her, and your) for the times when they need to come right before the thing they're possessing. There's a name for those cases, but you don't need to know it. It's quite likely that through speaking the English language, you have no trouble remembering when to use theirs and when to use their. It comes naturally. It's only in using the word its (and whose/who's) that you tend to forget, unlike the man who invented the word, that there's no apostrophe.
I know it's probably been a long time since you've been in English class, and a longer time since you've done a grammar worksheet, so here's an exercise to hone your recently learned skills. Fix all the problems in the following passage and leave your corrected version in my comments box if you'd like, unless you'd like to avoid any criticism.
* * *
Eddie Blogreader glared at me. "You're posting is ridiculous," he said. "Who really cares about apostrophes?""I do," I told him.
"But your writing this blog posting to a wide audience. Million's could read this. Don't you think you're wasting people's time?"
"No," I retorted. "Think about the average blogs' contents. Are discussions about PEZ dispensers' adventures any more worth ones time than lessons in grammar?"
"Well... no." Eddie scratched his head. "But come on, we're not all Hubers'. Or Beyer's. Ya'll're crazy. Its high time has come."
"Who's high time? What's high time?"
"Its time for my Super-Powered Blog. It'll leave all of you womens' blogs in the dust." Eddie sneered.
"Oh, really?" I said laughingly. "Well, maybe you'll come around to my way of thinking after you've been rejected from job interviews because you're resume was filled with grammatical error's."
"Fat chant's."
"Chant's? Don't you mean chance?"
"Whatever," Eddie huffed. "Those things're supposed to come up on the spell check."
5/10/05
it's called hope
Building up, improving, holding steady, and then I crash.
Loud and obnoxiously. Full of self and that's about it.
The days stop.
Somehow I show up at work, gritting my teeth against irks. I still remember to fill my belly with leftovers and my mind with flashing computer screens. But that's about it.
Things become more lifelike on Sunday. The shadows in the distance -- shapes of people and dreams -- start to become clearer. I almost recognize them. I have Love beside me reminding me to live. I experience life with him.
Life.
I see it, and I want it too. Oh, I reach. I see it...
... and can almost... almo s t
t o u c h
Loud and obnoxiously. Full of self and that's about it.
The days stop.
Somehow I show up at work, gritting my teeth against irks. I still remember to fill my belly with leftovers and my mind with flashing computer screens. But that's about it.
Things become more lifelike on Sunday. The shadows in the distance -- shapes of people and dreams -- start to become clearer. I almost recognize them. I have Love beside me reminding me to live. I experience life with him.
Life.
I see it, and I want it too. Oh, I reach. I see it...
... and can almost... almo s t
t o u c h
4/13/05
justify
Justify. How do I justify a conviction? How do I grasp a breeze? Who knows what blew across me and influenced my whole being? Who hears the whisper in my heart? Who but God? Yes, indeed. Who but God.
I cannot justify.
But I can testify.
I cannot justify.
But I can testify.
4/11/05
someday
Someday better than today, I'll invite you over. The sun will be slanting through the blinds and the grass will be greener than ever. Somebody's worship music will be drifting through the room. Somebody like Michael Card or Keith Green or Chris Tomlin. Maybe all of them taking turns.
The house'll be clean. Just to see it will lift my spirits higher.
Fresh gerbera daisies will be smiling on the table. They always look happiest in that lime green vase of mine. It would be nice if everything is ready on time. But even if it isn't, it won't be a problem because you can help me with the finishing touches. You don't mind; you're just that way.
We'll talk about enjoying the sunshine, but we'll probably opt to just stay inside. We have the whole day to enjoy the weather. For the moment, we'll be content at the table next to the kitchen, where your hair shines because of the way the sun peeks through the window. When we've had our fill of arranging plates of food, and when I know you feel right at home, I'll pour the tea.
Then, we'll sit down and have ourselves a good talk.
The house'll be clean. Just to see it will lift my spirits higher.
Fresh gerbera daisies will be smiling on the table. They always look happiest in that lime green vase of mine. It would be nice if everything is ready on time. But even if it isn't, it won't be a problem because you can help me with the finishing touches. You don't mind; you're just that way.
We'll talk about enjoying the sunshine, but we'll probably opt to just stay inside. We have the whole day to enjoy the weather. For the moment, we'll be content at the table next to the kitchen, where your hair shines because of the way the sun peeks through the window. When we've had our fill of arranging plates of food, and when I know you feel right at home, I'll pour the tea.
Then, we'll sit down and have ourselves a good talk.
there with you
I wish I had all the answers. I wish I could show you that I'm there too. I wish you could know that in all this hurt, there is God -- I AM.
I wish I had all the answers? No... even if I had all the answers, I wouldn't know what to do with them. I wouldn't know what to do with yours or mine. Because it's not about having all the answers. It's about trusting.
How can we believe -- together -- that this is beyond having the answers?
I wish we could just hold on to each other, crying, hurting, until it's all over.
Maybe in spite of the miles, maybe in spite of the fact that we've only seen each other a few times in our whole lives, maybe in spite of the pain, the fear, the confusion, we can each hold on to Jesus's hand.
And then -- then! -- I can be there with you.
Because if we're both grasping the same Person's hand, we're together. Right?
I wish I had all the answers? No... even if I had all the answers, I wouldn't know what to do with them. I wouldn't know what to do with yours or mine. Because it's not about having all the answers. It's about trusting.
How can we believe -- together -- that this is beyond having the answers?
I wish we could just hold on to each other, crying, hurting, until it's all over.
Maybe in spite of the miles, maybe in spite of the fact that we've only seen each other a few times in our whole lives, maybe in spite of the pain, the fear, the confusion, we can each hold on to Jesus's hand.
And then -- then! -- I can be there with you.
Because if we're both grasping the same Person's hand, we're together. Right?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)